Okay, you know how you won’t have sex with just anyone, right? You have standards. And even when someone meets those standards, you have limits. Like, pick your most taboo sexual situation-something you would almost never do, UNLESS the right person came along-and there you have it. That’s what it’s like for me to try to talk to people. I’ve tried it a few times, didn’t like it, or got hurt, and I have a hard time trying again. Imagine, as a person interested in males, a guy has a mandingo penis. That shit’s intimidating. Now, as a person interested in women, imagine a woman who is quite experienced in all things sexual; compared to her, you feel under-experienced. Now, as an asexual individual, it’s like having this person you really, really care about but all they really want is sex. It’s like that. People either intimidate me or aren’t on the same page as I am. It’s really difficult. There are other reasons too. Say decide to go to a party. It’s like a random hookup. You don’t know the person too well, so you don’t know if you’re too experienced or not experienced enough or if you’re over dressed or under dressed. With so much going through your head at once, it’s hard to relax and enjoy yourself.
Now, all that was said was in regards to strangers. What it’s like with someone you actually like is more along the lines of having a close friend that you’ve developed feelings for. You and that friend decide to explore a fwb type relationship. Now, the time comes, you get through the foreplay and into the good part, and then your mind starts racing, wondering if they feel the same about you or if they can sense how you feel and if you’re getting too clingy or maybe you’ll be overly attached and and and and and and….
Yeah, it’s a lot like that. And I don’t know if anyone can relate to any of those situations. But that’s as relatable as I can get it. It’s not that I’m bad with words or I’m really awkward. There’s just always this fear that I’m inadequate or bothering someone because I’m talking to them. From that fear comes the constant nagging, all consuming panic that somehow, in some way, you just won’t ever be good enough for people. Yes, I am set in my beliefs and I stand firm with them; when I encounter a rape apologist or pro lifer or conservative, I don’t normally want to be bothered. But it isn’t that I don’t like people. It’s that I don’t know how to handle people. I guess it’s because people never took the time out to handle me.
I just always feel like some kind of freak.
Okay, so I have an OkC account. I kind of like it, because it makes it easy to weed out the people you will and won’t like and make it so that you don’t waste your time. I haven’t been bombarded by douchebags at all. I haven’t been disrespected either. But it seems like all the women looking for what I’m looking for are in relationships(like me) and are only looking for a third for their relationship. I’m looking for just a fwb. Maybe a third, if we’re that cool. That and friends.
Anyway, it seems like every method I’ve used has been a bust. Fetish sites, social sites, and dating sites all fail when it comes to these types of relationships.
That is all.
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Adam and Eve is doing this amazing sale where if you spend at least $17 you get a bag of goodies(nine different things!) and a 50% off coupon on any one item. I’m just like….ugh…..I want…
I’m fucking sexually frustrated as hell. I got laid like last week. wtf? Ugh like guise, don’t blame me if I flood your dash with porn. I mean it. SHEEESSSHHH, BABY GET YOUR ASS HOME AND PUT IT DOWN!!!!
One of the best parts of Tumblr is that you can explore your sexuality without risking viruses or someone seeing your browser history. :) Anyway, I don’t give that blog out to just anyone, so message me if you want to take a gander. :) Laters guys!
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This is something that needs to be discussed; a lot of people aren’t understanding the whole consent thing. Let’s make this elementary:
There are several types of sex: oral, vaginal, and anal. Any type of sex requires a yes from both partners. Now, consent to oral sex is not consent to vaginal or anal sex. Consent to vaginal sex is not consent to oral or anal sex. Consent to anal sex is not consent to oral or vaginal sex. Get it? Anything besides what is consented to is rape. Simple as that. Let’s take rape into a rudimentary context, shall we?
Rape is a sexual act(or multiple sexual acts) FORCED UPON a NON-CONSENTING person(male*, female*, or otherwise). You cannot argue that the person asked for sexual advancements due to clothing, behavior, or location. During any form of consensual sex to another form of sex is not okay if not given proper permissions. What that means is LOOK AT BODY LANGUAGE IF YOU FEEL YOUR PARTNER MAY BE TOO SCARED/SHY/NERVOUS/OTHERWISE TO SAY NO. If your partner does not say yes to anal/oral/vaginal sex prior to or during intimate sessions(meaning foreplay, or making out), back off!
Let’s move on to other things to consent to, shall we?
If your female* partner consents to sex, she* did not consent to pregnancy. If your male* partner consents to sex, he did not consent to getting you pregnant. If you sabotage your condom or other form of contraceptive for the sake of tricking your partner into pregnancy, THAT IS WRONG. CONSENT TO SEX IS NOT CONSENT TO GROWING A FETUS IN A WOMB. Furthermore, consent to sex under false pretenses is wrong too; if you have a STD or STI that your partner should know about yet you don’t tell, that is wrong. Your partner did not consent to sex with you under proper circumstances.
Keep in mind, there are plenty of types of sex and unless they are consented to, they should not be performed. There are other ways to undermine consent as well, and they can all be put to trial classified as rape.
Why the holy hell are you putting so much energy into stripping people of porn? Especially in hotel rooms, where you ought not be, you know, since you’re all married and very very religious. Why is it your business? Are you angry because no one ever touches the bibles that they put in the rooms? Look, you don’t have to watch it. It’s not like it’s free(not always anyway). It’s not like it’s something children can access accidentally. I know; I travel often enough to know the hotel channels. Mind your business. You did not pay for my room. You are not paying to watch those channels. Stay out of my life.
What’s next, attacking Cindie’s, Spencer’s, Sarah’s Secret, and Adam and Eve for selling- ahem- “personal massagers”. Get over your bloody selves. The sex lives of anyone but you and your partner are not your business. If you’re angry that you aren’t having enough sex, because that’s what it boils down to, you should have considered that before decided to be conservatives. You don’t have to worry about our sex lives. Porn doesn’t ruin relationships. Addiction does. If you’re addicted to sex, you’ve ruined your relationship. PORN, SEX, EDUCATION, FOOD, MUSIC, WORK, RELIGION—-YOU CAN BE ADDICTED TO ANYTHING. STOP BLAMING WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL CHOICES FOR SCREWING UP SOCIETY.
Remember prohibition? Did that stop the manufacturing and sale of alcohol? Hell the fuck no. So just STOP. Your life is your business. Your family’s well being is your business. Not my sex life. Not you cousin’s sex life. Not your 20 year old daughter’s sex life.
MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.
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There sure is an abhorrent amount of slut shaming and sex policing around. I’m pretty sure that if parent’s weren’t so “omg sex is so bad” with their children, children wouldn’t have to hide the fact that they have sex. If children didn’t have to hide it, there would be less unwanted pregnancy. Think about it: if the children learned about sex and contraception from their parents, they wouldn’t see it online or on tv and get curious and do it. They wouldn’t be ashamed of purchasing condoms and such, and would be better protected. Why is it so bad to talk about sex if we put it in the media? It’s in our music, movies, advertisements, books, etc. Why can’t we, as adults, tell our children of both the pleasures and dangers of sex? As a kid, everything people told us not to do, we did. Why? Because we wanted to know for ourselves. Abstinence should be a personal decision, just like everything else in life. If we didn’t force it on kids, they wouldn’t have a reason to have unprotected sex other than stupidity. I’m just saying: teach, don’t preach.